Eighty percent of my clients come to me because they desire to be in a relationship with a mature Masculine Man, or because they want to improve or save the relationship they are currently in. There is no shame in getting assistance in this area, especially if you did not have a good representation of a healthy relationship dynamic between a masculine man and a feminine woman. Here is how Sara Lena Coaching services specifically help women who seek healthier, happier, long-lasting relationships with Mature Masculine men:
Feminine Communication
You must learn effective communication skills. By this, I'm not referring to the professional communication techniques you implement at work when speaking to colleagues, clients, customers, business partners, etc. I'm referring to the type of communication that is vulnerable, compassionate, receptive, understanding, gentle, and loving. This applies to not only the words you speak(which is still very important), but it also is based on your nonverbal communication as well(facial expression, body language, hand gestures, tone of voice, and even the atmosphere you create when initiating conversation) Feminine Communication takes effort and without it, your conversations will always result in either an argument or one of you left feeling unheard, misunderstood, and invalidated.
Respect & Loyalty
If you have never had to respect a man before, you may have power struggles in your relationship with a Mature Masculine Man. My clients learn the general triggers of a masculine man, so that you will be cognizant of what is considered disrespectful to them...(because men often view things as disrespectful that women don't think twice about) Whenever you learn what not to do, you will be given examples and assignments to help you put into practice what you SHOULD do instead. So, you'll gain insight on ways to show respect, admiration, and loyalty to your partner. Remember that you can love a man with all your heart, but if he does not feel respected, you're not loving correctly. Harsh, but true.
Support
I am insistent on my clients learning their Helpmate Style. A huge mistake that many women make is they try to mold themselves into someone else completely in order to satisfy their man. Then they become resentful, because they feel they have lost themselves. I do not encourage this. You can still be a great complement and helpmate to your man without changing EVERYTHIG about yourself. You just need to identify your helpmate style and learn which style best fits the needs of your partner. Doing this ensures you are comfortable and confident within your role as a helpmate, and your partner is able to utilize your gifts without feeling like he's having to force you to do anything.
Peace
Ladies, I can't stress this enough...Be at peace with yourself so that you can be that safe space and refuge for your man and loved ones. So many of us do things backwards. We put on our superwoman cape so that we can come to everyone else's rescue, fix everyone else's problems, make sacrifices so that everyone else can be happy, then we're left feeling drained, used, and unappreciated. Stop doing this! You don't need to be anyone's hero. You don't even need to be "strong." Be at peace. Be the woman that you needed when you were growing up. Be nurturing, compassionate, and affectionate. Be that walking safe haven for others. The woman that comforts, eases, soothes, listens, heals, and nurtures, rather than the woman that fixes, solves, fights, sacrifices, etc. When you are able to tap into this energy, you will notice a difference in the way others, specifically your masculine man, treats you. Men cherish and protect that which they find refuge in. You will notice him putting in effort in ways you've never seen before. But it comes with peace. Notice, I said nothing about only speaking when spoken to, or anything of the sort. Being his peace his about your hero being able to take off his cape as well. Him feeling mentally and emotionally safe. Him craving your presence because it relaxes and recharges him. You'll learn ways to be more at peace with yourself so that you can be that Peace for him. Being at Peace with yourself is a process. It takes dedication to forming new habits and routines that ease, fulfill, and nourish you.
Intimacy
There are five types of intimacy: Spiritual Intimacy, Emotional Intimacy, Intellectual Intimacy, Physical Intimacy, and Recreational Intimacy. Discovering ways to improve the connection in each of these aspects of your relationship is vital. When you neglect any of these areas of your relationship, there will be a disconnect and the chemistry will lack. Realistically, you as the woman(the relationship oriented one with naturally higher levels of estrogen) will be the one that initiates intimacy in most of these areas. Your man will likely take that position physically of course. However, when it comes to nonsexual intimacy, you must be willing to assert yourself more. Doing so establishes healthier roles in your relationship. Your man will be more focused on the virtues of manhood, which by default makes him more masculine and more desirable to you, and you will be able to prioritize your desires, which likely include intimacy, romance, etc. When this becomes a priority for you, you will also become more magnetic and you give your man the incentive to want to reciprocate. My clients evaluate how they are currently intimate with their partner in each of these areas, and what they can do to enhance their connection.
Appreciation
Men go and stay where their efforts are admired, valued, and reciprocated. If want to keep your man, be intentional about showing appreciation for the things he is already doing and the value he is already adding to your life. There are many ways to show and express your appreciation. Clients that struggle to consistently show appreciation in their relationships are given challenges geared towards doing things that make their spouse feel needed and valued.
Submission
Yes, the dreaded "S" word. I hope you didn't think I was going to leave this one off. I realize that others may substitute this word for cooperation or agreeability, however women that argue against the use of the word submission are neither cooperative or agreeable. We use the word submission unapologetically. There is much that falls under the umbrella of being submissive: Being on board with the mission; trusting and accepting guidance; being devoted and respectful to a man that loves and protects you; relinquishing the need to be in control and releasing all of the burdens and hardships that come with that position; receiving the masculine structure that is meant to make your life easier; resting in your softness and allowing your man to COVER you. When you embrace the power in being a SUBMISSIVE woman, your life will change for the better. If this is an issue for you, we will analyze your willingness to follow directives from a man you trust, and identify what your hyper-independent triggers are so that we can begin eliminating them. Clients are also given challenges to help them with accepting a submissive role. It took you 20+ years to become the woman you are today, and if submission is something you have not developed within your lifetime, then it is going to take a great while for it to come naturally.
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